Wii Workout, Foul Mouth Failure & Trader Joe's

So I did work out yesterday. Last week I bought a boxing cardio workout to do on the kids Wii. Yesterday I opened up the box and got started. Nina, my cartoon character trainer, was not very encouraging. I mean, she said "good job" and "keep it up" but when I pressed the exit button after 20 minutes she didn't say "absolutely NOT, you've got more in you!" Am I expecting too much from her? I also would like everyone to know that I am so uncoordinated it is comical. You would never know it to look at me. I have truly perfected my walk and posture and the way I carry myself over my 33 years on this planet. I appear to be quite graceful. But if you were outside of my window yesterday afternoon you just might have considered calling 911 in fear that I was having a seizure. I am that lame while trying to follow exercise videos. So, in addition to my Wii workout, I set up 6 sessions of personal yoga with my friend Darby. I start next week. 2 days a week for 3 weeks. By then I think I will be motivated enough to continue it at the yoga studio.

My language was entirely in check all day but that is because I didn't talk to anyone. As soon as I began interacting with other human beings it all fell apart. I will try again today to remember that I can communicate effectively without bad language. That is my mantra.

Lastly, I went to Trader Joe's to get my soap that I love and some other various things I can only get there and I was noticing while I was there that everyone is much happier at TJ's than at, say, Pavillions. I am talking about the customers mostly because the Pavillions I go to, the employees are actually very nice and helpful- but the people shopping there are kinda grouchy and rude 8 out of 10 times. But not at good ol' Trader Joe's. Over there the people say hello and excuse me if they walk in front of you or need to get by you and everyone is smiling. It is so nice. It makes me wonder... does everyone feel that they are expected to have a hippie-ish, everybody love everybody demeanor BECAUSE they are at TJ's? OR is it that most people who shop at TJs are eating healthy things that nourish their bodies instead of whoppers, which makes them more balanced and happy? Whatever it is, it is lovely. Then as I was happily and slowly pulling out of my parking spot this car comes speeding into the parking lot and even though I am already half way out of my spot he doesn't wait. He swerves quickly around me and pulls into a spot a few spots away from me and I thought to myself 'I want him OUT! He doesn't belong here in this happy and peaceful place' Maybe Trader Joe's should be members only like Costco. But you have to fill out a survey about your personality instead of just paying a membership fee. Then we can keep this kind of riff-raff out.

A quick glossary in case anyone reads this besides my mom.

Me- Cassandra- 33, mother of 2, daughter of 1, kind of step daughter of 1, sister of 4 (3 brothers and 1 sister-in-law), aunt of 4, girlfriend of 1, friend of a handful.

Children- Noah (13) Jeremiah (10)

Mom- Mom

Sort of step dad- Frank

Brothers- Travis, Ben, Tim

Sister- Debbie

Nieces and Nephews- Elijah, Alannah, Ryan, Shannon

Boyfriend- Steve

Friends- You will learn as we go


Spaghetti Night at mom's house was wonderful. (Spaghetti Night is every Wednesday with the whole family) Everyone played Taboo and laughed and chatted until almost 10pm! Frank was making me laugh because we had to twist his arm to play but then he was addicted and didn't want to stop. Alannah was making me laugh because we had to practically tie her hands under the table or she describes things entirely with hand gestures. The girl should learn sign language- I bet she would be good at it! Fun night.

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Now with a creative blog title like that...how could it be anything but riveting?

New Years Resolutions

1) Stop being vulgar

Not long ago my 10 year old called his brother a turd bird. I realized in that moment, or soon thereafter, that this was much more creative than how I typically insult someone who is irritating me. Typical insults such as d***** bag or f***face or c***sucker are satisfying to say. They really are. They just feel good rolling off the tongue. But though they may feel good to say in the moment of frustration they are really quite unimaginative. We have this amazing language full of a million adjectives and the best I can come up with when I am describing a less than favorite person is "dipsh**"? It is really the lowest form of expression. I am better than that. AND I also realize that such language is not becoming of a lady such as myself. I really do have the mouth of a sailor. It's not right.

On the subject I found a book that broke the use of profanity into 5 categories...


Dysphemistic profanity – Exact opposite of euphemism. So to say someone "a little slow" instead of mentally challenged is a euphemism...a nice way of putting something. Dysphemistic profanity would be to say someone is a fucking retard instead of mentally challenged.

Abusive profanity – for abuse or intimidation or insulting of others.

Idiomatic profanity – swearing without really referring to the matter. Just using the words to arouse interest, to show off and express to peers that the setting is informal.

Emphatic swearing – to emphasize something with swearing.

Cathartic profanity – when something bad happens like coffee spilling, people curse.

I am guilty of all 5 which makes me categorically a big turd bird.


Resolution # 2) Stop getting fat.

Now any one of my friends or family members or a stranger walking down the street would roll their eyes here. I am tall and thin. I still look good in most clothes. Not so much in tight light colored stretchy pants. Or anything light colored draped over the general ass area is a bad idea. I just realized I said "ass" in regards to my gluteus maximus...is that considered a curse word? Hmmm, I will say that is a borderline profanity. I will from now on call my butt...my bum. I will also be freely using British expressions because they make me smile. So, as I was saying...I am not fat. Yet. I could be if I don't knock off this laziness. I used to work out. I liked it. Now the idea of putting down the plate of spaghetti and getting off the couch is simply loathsome. But it has got to stop. If I am obligated to write down here, for all the world to see, whether or not I exercised or not then maybe that will motivate me to actually engage in some form of physical activity.

So, those are my resolutions. Just 2. That's all I need to keep me busy. Signing off for today. Ah, my first blog completed...now if only taking a run or doing some sit ups were as easy.